Mastering Mindful Masturbation: A Porn-Free Guide!

This article is a summary of the YouTube video ‘Porn Addict Teaches You How to Masturbate Without Pornography … Mindfully!’ by The Mindful Habit®

Written by: Recapz Bot

Written by: Recapz Bot

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Pornography harms men’s sex lives; explore healthy sexuality individually, separate from visual stimuli, try alternative methods, such as mindful masturbation.

Key Insights

  • Pornography often hijacks men's sexuality, disconnecting them from intimacy and self-pleasure.
  • Healthy sexuality should be explored individually, and awareness of its impact is important.
  • Masturbating without pornography can help separate intense visual stimuli from pleasure.
  • Using one hand for traditional stimulation and finding alternative ways to keep the other hand occupied can help with this process.
  • Three alternatives to watching pornography while masturbating: fantasizing (but being aware of its potential negative impact), fantasizing about your partner, and practicing mindful masturbation.
  • Mindful masturbation involves focusing on bodily sensations and pleasure, gently redirecting the mind from distractions back to the present experience.
  • Mindful masturbation can help deepen the connection with oneself and promote sexual growth without the influence of pornography.

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Transcript

For so many of us men, pornography has hijacked our sexuality. We’re watching things that are completely inconsistent with the men that we want to be. And sometimes pornography has rendered us incapable of connecting with another human being. We’ve got porn brain. We’ve lost that ability to be intimate and to connect with another human. And pornography has completely disconnected us from ourselves and from self-pleasure.

So, in this video, I want to talk about masturbating without pornography. Crazy concept, right? And teach you how to masturbate mindfully. So, masturbating without pornography. I get it. This is a little tongue in cheek. But in working with guys, hundreds of guys, 18 countries, all over the world, different demographics, different backgrounds, different cultures, different religions. When we talk about healthy sexuality, it’s like for so many of these men, it’s the first time we’re having that conversation. And I want you to have this conversation with yourself. What does healthy sexuality look like for you?

Pornography renders us completely incapable of connecting with our partner. That’s the way it was like for me. I mean, my pornography continued to get more graphic, more extreme. And that darker part of my sexuality became more and more broken. And I was unable to connect. I didn’t feel comfortable. I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel safe sharing where my sexuality was with someone that I cared about, right?

And the other thing that pornography has done to so many of us, it has disconnected us from our own self-pleasure. Pornography and intense visual stimuli are inexorably intertwined with our masturbatory habits. I’m inviting you to separate them. Masturbate without watching pornography. This is how you do it.

It sounds really, really complicated, but it’s not. Now, obviously, this is a little tongue-in-cheek, guys, but in working with guys all over the world, when I mention or recommend, “Hey, how about you masturbate without porn?” I get this look or I can hear it on the phone. This does not compute. There’s just this disconnect. Like, wait, what? Why didn’t I think of that? Or, I wonder what that would be like? Is that possible? And so, it’s very, very simple.

So, just like when you’re masturbating with porn, you take the one hand that you normally use to masturbate and get that hand busy, okay? Doing what it normally does. The other hand that’s either holding the cell phone or that’s clicking on the mouse or the click pad, whatever it’s doing, that hand is not going to be doing those things. That hand might be touching another part of your body. That hand you might be sitting on just to keep it from wandering off to the cell phone. So, when you masturbate without pornography, you simply masturbate but don’t watch porn.

So, well, that begs the question. If you’re not watching pornography, what do you do while you’re masturbating? And there are three things I’d invite you to think about.

Number one is simply fantasizing. Remember, guys, there’s nothing inherently wrong with fantasy. But when it takes you to a place that you don’t want to be, if it moves you to infidelity, if it moves you to violate your relationship with your partner, if it moves you to watch things that are inconsistent with the man you want to be, well, for so many of us, that’s the case because pornography’s been part of that programming for so long. So, yeah, you can fantasize. Again, nothing inherently wrong with that, but I’m going to invite you to consider another option, something even just to practice on your journey to healthy sexuality.

Here’s option two. Fantasize about your partner. If there’s someone in your life that you love, that you want to stay connected with for a long period of time, and if you happen to be in a committed, monogamous relationship and you’re going to own that and be a man of integrity, how about you take those crazy fantasies and put them onto your partner? Maybe it’s something you’ve done before. Maybe it’s something you want to do. Maybe it’s something that you’re uncomfortable talking about. But let it go. Let it go. Fantasize about your partner.

Now, option three I think is really cool, and regardless of where you end up, I think every one of you should try this, and this is called mindful masturbation. One powerful mindfulness practice is to sit, to be still, and to focus exclusively on your breathing, to the exclusion of all else. So when your mind drifts away to what you have to do that day, what you’re going to have for lunch, the problems that you’re having in your life, you gently bring it back to the breath. And if any of you have done yoga, you understand that concept, right? Bring it back to the breath. Find the breath. And so that’s what you’re doing in mindfulness.

In mindful masturbation, it’s a little different. The focus instead is going to be on your bodily sensations and your pleasure. Okay, so what you’re going to do here is, while you’re masturbating, I want you to focus exclusively on the body sensations and the pleasure that you’re giving yourself. Now, we know what’s going to happen. Your mind is going to drift. It’s going to replay the videos that you’ve been watching in your head time and time again. When that happens, don’t get frustrated. Gently bring your focus and attention back to the pleasure. It’s going to drift off again. And you’re going to gently bring the focus and attention back to the pleasure. Some guys are only able to do this for seconds at a time. Then that goes to 10 seconds, to 20 seconds, to 30 seconds. Just do what feels right. Masturbate mindfully. Focus on the pleasure. Deepen that intimate connection, that sexual connection with yourself and allow your sexuality to grow organically, right, without the programming of pornography.

So, masturbate without pornography. Give that a shot and practice mindful masturbation. Thanks for watching this video. Share it with your friends in the comments below. Tell me what it’s like. What’s it like to masturbate without pornography? What’s it like to masturbate without pornography?

This article is a summary of the YouTube video ‘Porn Addict Teaches You How to Masturbate Without Pornography … Mindfully!’ by The Mindful Habit®