Red Flags in Women: 5 Warning Signs

This article is a summary of the YouTube video ‘5 Things Women Do That Are Red Flags’ by Courtney Ryan

Written by: Recapz Bot

Written by: Recapz Bot

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Warning signs in a woman: disapproval of not drinking, expecting imitation, persistent criticism, imbalance in giving, and erratic behavior.

Key Insights

  • Red flag: If a woman has a problem with you not drinking and makes you feel bad about it
  • Red flag: Expecting someone to do something simply because someone else did it
  • Red flag: Consistently expressing criticism without affirmation
  • Red flag: Taking more than giving in a relationship
  • Red flag: Consistent inconsistency, mood swings, and sudden changes in behavior or interest

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Transcript

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. If you’re new here, I’m Courtney Ryan, and it has been quite some time since I’ve done my signature “if she says this or does this, you should run” type of videos. So I put together a few more things that I would consider to be red flags from a woman. Keep in mind that not every situation is black and white, and we have to leave a little room for nuance. But there are good reasons why I would consider the following to be red flags.

Number one, she has a problem with you not drinking or acts like you’re lame or not fun because of the fact that you don’t drink. Now I know this is a little out of left field and oddly specific, but I included this one here because recently I’ve seen a lot more content online about people choosing not to drink, and I’ve even received a lot of comments from you guys about it, asking me if I don’t drink, is that a turn-off to women, or something along those lines. To which I would say, yeah, if she’s not a good match for you. And I say this as someone who doesn’t drink myself and who dated people in the past who did have a problem with this and made me feel bad about this. My now-husband, just for some reassurance for you, has always loved this about me. So rest assured that someone who you are compatible with, who is genuinely a good match for you, will see this as a positive trait. And I’ve seen a lot of people post about this lately, so if you guys would want to see a video from me about why I don’t drink, let me know and I can certainly do that.

You know, the point here specifically I’m talking about is she makes you feel bad about not drinking or she has a problem with you not drinking. But this goes so much further than this and can really be carried over into many different topics than just alcohol or drinking or drugs or anything like that. My point is that you should feel comfortable being yourself and sticking to your values. If the person you’re dating makes you feel bad about your values or like you need to change yourself in order to be liked by them, they are simply not someone that you should continue to be with or continue to pursue. It’s a sign of incompatibility, a sign that your values are not aligned. So please remember that.

The next thing, and this is something that she says, is if you wanted to, you would. Or if he wanted to, he would. This is a bunch of baloney. But she saw some girl on TikTok whose boyfriend took her on an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, and he bought her a Chanel bag while they were there. So that must mean that you should too because if you wanted to, you would. Some other guy bought his girlfriend a dozen roses, so that must mean if you wanted to, then you would too. Let’s debunk this right now before any other guys are personally victimized by the “if he wanted to, he would” statement or phenomenon that’s going on.

This is a simplified expression that suggests that if someone truly desired or cared about something, they would take action to achieve it. While this may hold true in some cases, emphasis on some. It’s important to recognize that people’s motivations, circumstances, and personal limitations can vary significantly for a lot of different reasons. There are so many factors that can influence a person’s willingness or ability to act in a specific situation, especially when this is involving another person. If it’s just you, okay, you can control yourself. You are in charge of yourself. But when you’re saying if someone else wanted to do something, then they would, you’re adding a completely new level of complexity to it, because that is completely out of your control. It’s a whole other human being. There are so many reasons why someone may or may not do something.

A couple examples I can give you here are maybe they have fears or insecurities that hold them back from taking action, even if they wanted to. Maybe they face some external obstacles or limitations that prevent them from pursuing what they want or doing what they want, even if they want to. Such as financial limitations. Not every man has the funds to take you to Paris and buy you a Chanel bag. And I know it sounds crazy when I say that, but I’ve seen a lot of content online insinuating that that should be the case. It’s wild. Maybe they have other obligations or priorities that take precedence over what they want, making it challenging to act on their desires or what they want to do. Maybe they’re dealing with emotional or psychological issues such as depression or anxiety that might hinder their ability to take action despite genuinely wanting it. Maybe they don’t have the necessary knowledge, skills, or resources to pursue what they want, making it difficult to take action.

So I know I just gave you a ton of different examples there, but it’s essential to really have open and honest communication to understand someone’s intentions and motivations, rather than making assumptions based solely on the statement “if he wanted to, he would.” Because again, it’s a bunch of baloney. And this reminds me of the expecting your partner to be a mind reader thing. It’s time to be a mature adult and start asking people for what you want and what you need. Part of that though is also being able to understand when you’re being unreasonable or unrealistic, as the “if he wanted to, he would” normally is. Now I’m not talking about the basic human needs in a relationship, like respect, communication, loyalty. That’s not what I’m talking about here. What I’m talking about here is slapping an “if he wanted to, he would” label on something that is just unrealistic. Okay?

The next red flag is that she expresses criticism more than affirmation. Does she even actually like you? It’s probably hard to tell if she expresses constant criticism towards everything you do and rarely provides any affirmation. If someone consistently expresses criticism without providing affirmations or positive feedback, it may indicate a negative or unhealthy communication pattern. Hence why we’re calling this a red flag here. Constant criticism in a relationship can be unhealthy for a bunch of different reasons. Firstly, it creates a negative emotional environment. Constant criticism can make someone feel attacked, defensive, or inadequate, which can lead to resentment and distance between partners down the line. Additionally, a lack of positive feedback or affirmations can diminish feelings of appreciation and love. Healthy relationships require open and constructive communication, which include a balance of constructive criticism and positive reinforcement. Someone who is constantly criticizing and never giving positive reinforcement or affirmation is often also someone who will try to change you or control you as well, which is obviously not healthy in a relationship.

The next red flag is that she takes more than she gives, repeatedly. A relationship will hardly ever be 50-50, but that doesn’t mean one person should bear all the burdens or be the only one giving and putting effort in. If one person consistently takes without giving back, it can generate feelings of resentment, frustration, and a sense of being taken for granted in that other person, aka you. And that’s because a healthy dynamic requires a fair distribution of effort, emotional support, and acts of kindness from both people to maintain a sense of equality and satisfaction. Obviously, this is a little bit easier to see once you’ve been together longer, but in the early stages of dating, there are a few signs that someone may be taking more than they give in the relationship, and it can kind of be a little window into what the rest of your relationship will look like. Some signs of that are a lack of reciprocation, so the person consistently expects or demands favors, attention, or resources without reciprocating in a balanced way. Self-centeredness, maybe they predominantly focus on their own needs, interests, or desires without showing any genuine interest or investment in you. Another is a lack of effort or investment, maybe they display a lack of effort in planning dates, initiating contact, or making time for the relationship. Another is a complete disregard for boundaries, so maybe they consistently disregard or dismiss the boundaries, needs, or preferences of you. And limited emotional support, maybe they’re unwilling or unable to provide emotional support, empathy, or understanding when you need it. So those are just a few examples early on that she might be a taker rather than a giver.

My next red flag is that she’s consistently inconsistent. Maybe she has frequent mood swings, hot and cold behavior, or sudden changes in interest or affection towards you. Point blank here, she’s inconsistent, and it’s not a good thing. Inconsistency in dating can be a big red flag because it often indicates a lack of reliability, a lack of commitment, or genuine

This article is a summary of the YouTube video ‘5 Things Women Do That Are Red Flags’ by Courtney Ryan